Connect with us

Jokes

The Future of E-Scooters

Published

on

The Future of E-Scooters

The next iteration of dockless, phone-activated micromobility devices — those modern miracles of transportation you can ride and park literally anywhere you want — will be a liquid-fuel rocket.

The name of the brand, of course, will be ROCKET.

To ride a ROCKET, riders will straddle the warhead between their legs like Major King Kong from “Dr. Strangelove,” controlling thrust and direction with a pair of adjustable and ergonomic plastic handles screwed into the sides of the frame.

Featuring a phone charger, a 15-inch LCD screen with free access to Amazon Prime Video, a six-speaker Bluetooth stereo system powered by Bose, and a high-definition camera you can link to your social media feeds, ROCKET will allow people of any age or skill level to zip around their congested cities with convenience, comfort, and style.

But we understand it’s not enough to just create the grooviest way to get around. That’s why, because of our deep commitment to environmental sustainability, ROCKET only uses carbon-free, dolphin-safe, ethically sourced hydrazine and liquid fluorine. With our proprietary propellant technology, you’ll be able to reach speeds of 250 meters per second — meaning you’ll never need to worry about running late or battling rush hour traffic again. (Every ROCKET will also come pre-equipped with an optional bicycle helmet and set of elbow pads to keep you safe while you scoot around town.)

However, we’ll admit it. At ROCKET, our biggest passion is fun. That’s why we’re also including an optional feature for making every trip memorable — and ending it with a bang.

Shortly before you reach your destination, you’ll be able to hit the eject button located on the underside of the fuel tank to safely jettison you off your ROCKET while in flight. Now on autopilot, your ROCKET will accelerate to maximum velocity and do its best to perform stunning tricks on the streets and in the skies until it collides with an object, after which it will detonate its payload for the ultimate jaw-dropping finale.

You’ve always liked making an entrance. Now, for just an extra $2.50 added to the cost of your trip, you can saunter up nonchalantly to the spectacle and cacophony of the most dramatic fireworks display anyone but the most grizzled armed forces veterans have ever seen.

As with all dockless micromobility devices, customers can simply abandon the wreckage and walk away from any damage to city or private property, relying on the free labor of the community to clean up the mess. Just use our mobile app to find the closest replacement ROCKET for your next trip.

We’ll be debuting in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and Somalia, and we can’t wait to give you the chance to ROCKET on your next commute.

Advertisement

Jokes

Three men are walking in the desert

Published

on

Three men are walking in the desert

Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide ‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands

The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins to slide down ‘Coke’ the man shouts and to his amazement he winds up in a pool of coke The second man is already at the top as he slides down he yells ‘Fanta’ and he too ends up in a pool of his favorite beverage.

The last man is up at the top of the slide is is a lot dumber then his comrades and is known for being idiotic sooooo when he is sliding down forgetting about what he is doing and enjoying himself he screams ‘weeeeeeeeeee’

Splash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I don’t know what you were expecting

Continue Reading

Jokes

Three Engineers are Discussing God

Published

on

Three Engineers are Discussing God

The structural engineer says “I think God must’ve been a structural engineer. The musculoskeletal system is perfectly designed to allow us to walk upright.”

The electrical engineer says “Interesting, but you are obviously wrong. God is an electrical engineer. The nervous system is so complex and finely tuned, He couldn’t be anything else!”

The civil engineer turns to them both and declares “you’re both wrong. Only a civil engineer would run a sewage line through a recreational area.”

Continue Reading

Jokes

A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

Published

on

A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

A man’s walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.

“Twenty bucks,” she says.

He’s never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell. They’re going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them… it’s a police officer.

“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.

“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”

“Well,” said the man, “neither did I until you shined that light in her face.”

Continue Reading

Trending