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The parrot and the prostitutes

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The parrot and the prostitutes

A lady goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. One particular parrot is extremely cheap. She asks the pet shop owner why. The owner replies that it has spent some time in a brothel and has picked up some bad language. Always the spendthrift, the lady takes the parrot home with the intention of teaching it some manners.

When she gets home the parrot pipes up. “New brothel, new Madame”. The lady was a little taken aback, but remembering the Parrots background she chastises the parrot and tells it that sort of language is unacceptable.

A few hours later the lady’s two daughters arrive home. The parrot pipes up again: “New brothel, new prostitutes”. The girls are shocked but the mother explains the parrots background and once again chastises the parrot.

A few hours later the husband returns home. Again the parrot pipes up: “Yo Steve, how you doing?”

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A Swedish man, a Norwegian man, and a ravishing Danish woman are sharing a compartment on a train.

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A Swedish man, a Norwegian man, and a ravishing Danish woman are sharing a compartment on a train.

Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness.

On one such occasion, a kiss sound heard and after that a slap sound heard. As the train passes into daylight, Swedish man is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

Danish woman thinks, “I bet this Swedish man tried to kiss me in the dark, but he kissed Norwegian man instead of me and he slapped him.”

Swedish man thinks, “I bet this Norwegian man kissed this Danish woman in the dark, but she slapped me instead of him.”

Norwegian man thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can make a kiss sound and slap that Swedish pinhead again.”

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Funny Mom v/s Son Clean Short Joke: Moral Lesson For Kids

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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3.

The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait’”.

Kevin turned to his younger brother & said,

* * * * * * * * * *

“Ryan, you be Jesus!”

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Funny Marriage Humor Joke: Smart Divorced Barbie

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A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present.

He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager,

“How much is that new Barbie in the window?”

The Manager replied, “Which one? We have

‘Barbie goes to the gym’ for $19.95,

‘Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $19.95,

‘Barbie goes shopping’ for $19.95,

‘Barbie goes to the beach’ for $19.95,

‘Barbie goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 and

‘Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00”

“Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are $19.95?, the father asked.

The store manager replied:

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s house, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat, Ken’s furniture and all of Ken’s savings.”

Mmm… Barbie Isn’t That Stupid After All…

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