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There once lived a great detective…

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There once lived a great detective…

There once lived a great detective called Stewart. He was the best detective of the time. But he was no ordinary detective. He could solve every case by the magical powers bestowed to him by a fairy. The fairy gave him the power to gain insight on any case by thinking about the case and ejaculating in a cup. By understanding the clues his semen gave him, he could instantly solve his case.

One day Patrick, the legendary horse rider was suspiciously found dead after winning the championship. The detective was called to solve the case. The case was a tough one.

After reaching the crime scene the Detective excused himself to the washroom. No wonder he resorted to his trick which only he knew, and started to rub one out thinking about the case.

The semen gathered in the cup to form a false bottom. The clever detective quickly deciphered the clue. To his surprise, the body was fake, and Patrick had been kidnapped.

The kidnappers had laid out a brilliant plan to profit from Patrick through underground races but were caught.

The kidnappers were in disbelief. It was the perfect crime. They asked the detective. “But… but how?” The detective replied:

“The real jock is always in the cum hints”

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Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

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Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

He had just opened up a trampoline park near the border there, yet he seemed saddened by something when I walked in. He looked up at me with tired eyes so I asked him what was wrong:

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked. ‘There are many people here, surely business is doing well?’

He replied with a heavy sigh, ‘The ceilings here are too low and the young local people from around here can jump so high that they keep hitting the ceiling! What on earth am I supposed to do and what happens if the roof cracks!?’

The answer seemed simple to me, ‘Surely with all this money coming in you can pay someone to raise the ceiling – you must have enough to pay it off…’

He replied, still disheartened, ‘That may be true, but we’ve had an influx of visitors from across the border in Prague – they don’t tip well and I barely even break even when they come around!’

Resigned to his fate, taking a deep breath and looking down, he said to me: ‘The amount of local visitors may be through the roof but the Czechs keep bouncing.’

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Funny IT Humor Computer Joke: Bill Gate’s New Microsoft Car Operating System

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Bill Gate’s company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car.

Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, “Are you sure you really want to stop?”

Before Bill could enter “Yes”, there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting “F1! F1!” but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, “An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed.” Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him,

“You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell.”

Bill pleaded, “I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

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Funny Neighbor Joke Of The Day: American NRI Patelbhai

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It was 3.00 AM in the morning and wife Rachel was not able to sleep as her husband was pacing the bedroom floor with self-talking, gesturing with anxiety of some short.

So Rachel asked the husband Jackie:,

“What was so bothering him that he would keep her from sex and also let her not sleep.”

“You know our next door kindly neighbor, Patelbhai.

I had to borrow one thousand dollars from him to pay all your expensive credit card shopping bills.

It is promised to be paid back tomorrow to Patelbhai.”

Then he added somberly,

“and I don’t have money to pay him back. What am I going to say him tomorrow.”

Rachel gets out of bed, opens the window and yells,

“Patelbhai” and then again and again “Patelbhai, hey Patelbhai”.

Finally awakened and wobbling Patel opens the window opposite her and yells back,

“What? What is it, Rachel? It’s 3 AM. What is so emergency. What do you want?”

Rachel says, “You know the $1000 my husband owes you? He doesn’t have it and He would not give it to you tomorrow.”

Rachel then slams the window shut, and turns to Jackie and says,

* * * * * * * *

“Now you go to sleep, let me sleep and let Patelbhai pace the floor till tomorrow morning and beyond.”

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