Connect with us

Jokes

Top 7 Best Funny And Bad Short Dirty Jokes: Dark Humor

Published

on

There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.

The Female pencil got pregnant!!

Which Male pencil is responsible?

* * * * * *

ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.

Woman in bed with husband’s best friend, phone rings!

“YES”.. “OK, BYE”.

She turns to her lover and says,

* * * * * * *

“THAT’S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE’S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.”

Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.

Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!!

Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo !!!

Gay : any-cock-will dooo !!!

Three Guys were introduced to a girl.

“Hi,…. I’m Peter, not a SAINT.”

“I’m Paul not a POPE.”

“I’m John not a BAPTIST…”

The girl replied..

* * * * * *

“Hi.. I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.”

Girlfriends are like appetizers.

Taste good at any time.

Mistresses are Tomyams.

Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.

WIVES are Maggie.

Eaten when there’s nothing to eat.!!!

Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.

She replied:

* * * * * * * *

“I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!”

Yesterday’s News:-

A nun jogging at Jogger’s Park was raped by 4 guys.

Today’s News:-

* * * * * *

Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

Jokes

Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

Published

on

Yesterday I met my friend from Slovakia.

He had just opened up a trampoline park near the border there, yet he seemed saddened by something when I walked in. He looked up at me with tired eyes so I asked him what was wrong:

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked. ‘There are many people here, surely business is doing well?’

He replied with a heavy sigh, ‘The ceilings here are too low and the young local people from around here can jump so high that they keep hitting the ceiling! What on earth am I supposed to do and what happens if the roof cracks!?’

The answer seemed simple to me, ‘Surely with all this money coming in you can pay someone to raise the ceiling – you must have enough to pay it off…’

He replied, still disheartened, ‘That may be true, but we’ve had an influx of visitors from across the border in Prague – they don’t tip well and I barely even break even when they come around!’

Resigned to his fate, taking a deep breath and looking down, he said to me: ‘The amount of local visitors may be through the roof but the Czechs keep bouncing.’

Continue Reading

Jokes

Funny IT Humor Computer Joke: Bill Gate’s New Microsoft Car Operating System

Published

on

Bill Gate’s company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car.

Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, “Are you sure you really want to stop?”

Before Bill could enter “Yes”, there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting “F1! F1!” but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, “An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed.” Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him,

“You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell.”

Bill pleaded, “I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

Continue Reading

Jokes

Funny Neighbor Joke Of The Day: American NRI Patelbhai

Published

on

It was 3.00 AM in the morning and wife Rachel was not able to sleep as her husband was pacing the bedroom floor with self-talking, gesturing with anxiety of some short.

So Rachel asked the husband Jackie:,

“What was so bothering him that he would keep her from sex and also let her not sleep.”

“You know our next door kindly neighbor, Patelbhai.

I had to borrow one thousand dollars from him to pay all your expensive credit card shopping bills.

It is promised to be paid back tomorrow to Patelbhai.”

Then he added somberly,

“and I don’t have money to pay him back. What am I going to say him tomorrow.”

Rachel gets out of bed, opens the window and yells,

“Patelbhai” and then again and again “Patelbhai, hey Patelbhai”.

Finally awakened and wobbling Patel opens the window opposite her and yells back,

“What? What is it, Rachel? It’s 3 AM. What is so emergency. What do you want?”

Rachel says, “You know the $1000 my husband owes you? He doesn’t have it and He would not give it to you tomorrow.”

Rachel then slams the window shut, and turns to Jackie and says,

* * * * * * * *

“Now you go to sleep, let me sleep and let Patelbhai pace the floor till tomorrow morning and beyond.”

Continue Reading

Trending