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Two students are late for school,

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Two students are late for school,

so their teacher sends them to the principal’s office.

The first boy enters and sits down. The principal asks him why he was late, to which the boy responds, “I was throwing sticks in the lake.” The principal, new at the school, thinks to himself, “Boy, this school sure is strict – that’s not really worth an offense worth going to the principal’s office over. Heck, I loved doing things like that when I was a kid!” Pretending to be dead serious so that the boy might shape up a little, he slowly says, “Well, knock it off and get to class on time from now on. You won’t get off as easy if I see you back in here after this.” The boy furiously nods his head and practically sprints out of the office.

As soon as the door closes, the other boy comes in after him and sits down in front of the principal’s desk. The principal asks him why he’s late, and he gives the exact same response – he was throwing sticks in the lake. A bit annoyed now, but understanding that the boys were just enjoying themselves together, and reminiscing on his own youth, the principal tells him, “I’ll let you off the hook this time, but go to class and come to school on time. You’re here to learn – don’t squander your opportunities by goofing off.” The student, now red in the face, gives a faint “Yes” and leaves the office. Satisfied, the principal smiles, leans back in his chair, and thinks to himself, “These kids aren’t so bad. I think I’ll like it here.”

No sooner than the instant he finishes that thought, the door swings open for a third time, and a boy who looks to be about as old as the other two slowly walks into the office, soaking wet, completely disheveled and tracking mud everywhere he steps. He gets to the chair the other students sat at before him, angrily grumbles to himself, and sits down in a huff, furiously staring at the tiled floor. The principal, a bit fed up at this point, but still not wanting to be overly harsh, jokingly says, “Let me guess: throwing sticks in the lake with your friends, and you bit off a little more than you could chew?”

The boy, seething, snaps, “No – I’m Sticks.”

Jokes

A man went to Church to confess..

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A man went to Church to confess..

A man sat in the confession booth in church and said : “Forgive me, my Father, for I have sinned !” “What have you done my son ?” The priest asked. “I had a Promiscuous dream !! I dreamt that I the touched the breast of Rihanna…” Silence prevailed for a moment, followed by the noise of the priest leaving his seat..the man thought to himself “Oh God , he must felt great resentment after my confession !!” Suddenly , the door opened on the Christian side and the priest exclaimed : “Give me your hand to kiss it”

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A local man wins the lottery.

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A local man wins the lottery.

After he’s cashed in his winnings he’s overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, and serenity. He wants to give back to his community and he thinks that everyone should get in on the feels. He decides to throw a grand party at his new mansion where anyone in town can come to eat and drink for free as long as they come dressed in an outfit that represents an emotion.

The night of the party arrives and the first guests were two lawyers dressed in head-to-toe green. When the man asks what their outfits mean, they reply, “We’re green with envy about your recent financial success!”. Pleased with the answer, the man waves them inside.

The next couple to arrive were teachers at the nearby elementary school. Their bodies were completely covered in pink feathers. The man amusedly inquires what emotion the feathers represent. In unison they chime, “We’re tickled pink that you’re so wealthy now!”. Sharing a chuckle, he lets them into the party.

The third duo to show up on the man’s doorstep were two notoriously vacuous gangsters nearly as naked as their first birthday. Shocked, the man asks why they are completely nude except for one of them having a piece of fruit on his penis, and the other with his manhood in a bowl of gloop. The gangster nearest the man says matter-of-factly, “Yo, check it. I’m all deep in ‘dis pear, and this guy is fuckin’ ‘dis custard!”.

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Three men are walking in the desert

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Three men are walking in the desert

Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide ‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands

The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins to slide down ‘Coke’ the man shouts and to his amazement he winds up in a pool of coke The second man is already at the top as he slides down he yells ‘Fanta’ and he too ends up in a pool of his favorite beverage.

The last man is up at the top of the slide is is a lot dumber then his comrades and is known for being idiotic sooooo when he is sliding down forgetting about what he is doing and enjoying himself he screams ‘weeeeeeeeeee’

Splash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I don’t know what you were expecting

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